The Calm That Comes

If you knew that you could handle whatever came your way, would you give your fears a rest?
Are you longing to find out what you're capable of?
Fearlessness--
That's what's on the other end of finding out.
When you actually show up to what's right in front of you, fear is a split-second reaction.
A gasp from a car rushing by, a squeal from a fly in your mouth.
Not a worry, not a what-if, not a maybe.
A real and rare sensation.
A thrill, followed by sigh or cry or laugh.

I've been pushed to find out what I'm made of.
And I've discovered that I am fearless.
No possibility is beyond my ability to cope.
Being in the moment.
Being with what's right in front of me.
Getting out of my own way.
Showing up.
Listening.
Watching.
Feeling my soul step into my skin.
Feeling my power.
Feeling my presence.
There is nothing I cannot be with.
Even discomfort.
Even inconvenience.
Even heartbreak.
Even death.

Here I am--wanting power, wanting adventure, wanting aliveness, wanting to truly know myself and my limitlessness.
What I'm really asking for, when I declare these wantings, is the other side of the pendulum--
The dark side of fulfillment.
The doubt, the coldest days of winter, the very things I care most about stripped right out of reach.
The answer to this question:

When do I stop wanting real life?